Feeling Left Behind? Read This
It’s the end of a long stressful day.
You’re lost in a mindless scroll through social media- liking pictures and posts that catch your fancy.
While scrolling, you come across a picture Uche shared the day before. You take your time to zoom in. He is celebrating being a homeowner.
You are in awe.
Uche is your former neighbour’s son who often came to play with Azi, your kid brother.
In the photo he shared, Uche is a tall fully bearded grown-up man. He’s standing beside a beautiful woman that’s obviously his wife in front of the house he had just bought in the UK where he has been for a while now.
Hmmm.
Life.
This was a boy who used to call you "Uncle", a boy you used to send on errands to the provision shop across the road.
You think about your life and you feel ashamed.
Here you are still in your father’s house struggling to survive. The babe you want doesn’t know you want her because you have not been able to gather the courage to tell her. You don’t have much to give her material things and you feel she’ll turn you down.
You hiss.
"This Life no balance" you think to yourself.
As you contemplate how far behind you are and start to feel sorry for yourself, negative emotions invite themselves and congregate somewhere in the middle of your mind.
You slightly hate yourself, are are slightly angry, slightly jealous and slightly sad for yourself.
You hiss again.
And again.
Comparison is the thief of joy. You have no use for it.
We all have different lives. We have different experiences and different timelines. Sometimes our friends or younger ones go ahead of us because of mistakes or poor choices we made. Sometimes, it’s just ill luck.
Whichever it is, feeling sad, ashamed or hating yourself because you see others get ahead won’t solve your problem.
Yes, you can start life together with someone, grow up in the same place, eat the same foaod, attend the same school and still end up with totally different lives.
Before you compare your life with someone, remember that the person you're comparing yourself to doesn't have your life & experiences.
Worrying about what this person or that person has will not only make you miserable, let me repeat, it is pointless.
When you catch yourself starting to compare yourself to someone, think of things you're grateful for. Assess your desires again. Do you really want to get married? Do you really want a car? Do you really want a girlfriend? Or do you want them because you're expected to want and have them? If you really want them, even if it's just a shoe, there's no shame. Admit that you want it and belief you can have it. Then create a strategy of how you can get it legitimately.
What do you need to do to be where you wish to be? Figure it out and do it. The most life-changing thing you can do for yourself is to take your eyes off people who have what you want if you’re not looking at them to learn. Focus on what really matters which is building yourself & becoming better than who you were yesterday so you increase the chances of having that which you want tomorrow. Delay is not denial.
Whatever you do, never give up trying to be better or have a better life. Life is not a competition, it’s life and life doesn’t always go the way we want.
Believe that you are right where you need to be in this moment. Enjoy the life you have today because tomorrow is promised no one.
I wish you success.
